Runners’ Diet Rules

Some runners are twig-thin, while quite a few of us [cough, cough] more resemble a huge eucalyptus. So while we all may have various goals and POVs when it comes to weight loss and running, it’s safe to say that running tends to make us view the world of dieting a bit differently than others. Cases in point:

Traditional Diet Jargon: When it comes to losing weight, it’s all about “kilojoules in, kilojoules out.”
Runners’ Diet Alternative: Before a race, it’s all about “kilojoules in, kilojoules outhouse.”

Traditional Diet Jargon: The food pyramid consists of grains, meats, fat, dairy, fruits, and vegetables.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: The food pyramid is a stack of pancakes with a block of butter on top.

Traditional Diet Jargon: Only eat when you’re hungry, not when you’re bored or tired or stressed.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: I’M ALWAYS BLEEPING HUNGRY.

Traditional Diet Jargon: Stay away from processed foods.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: Salted caramel gel, FTW.

Traditional Diet Jargon: Don’t use the scale. Go by how your clothes fit!
Runners’ Diet Alternative: Don’t use the scale. Go by how much less your inner thighs chafe!

Traditional Diet Jargon: Don’t eat pie.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: Eat pie.

Traditional Diet Jargon: Comfort foods will kill you.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: You try running 10kms before 7 a.m. when it’s 40 degrees out, and when an ice-cream looks like a fine breakfast food, you eat an ice-cream.

Traditional Diet Jargon: Coffee.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: Coffee.

Traditional Diet Jargon: A serving size of meat is about the size of your hand.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: A serving size of meat is directly correlated to the size of the hill you just summited.

Traditional Diet Jargon: The most important meal week in and week out is breakfast.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: The most important meal week in and week out is a post-10-km Sunday brunch.

Traditional Diet Jargon: Guilt is the enemy of dieting.
Runners’ Diet Alternative: Running is the enemy of guilt.

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